Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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