I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize