oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
