the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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