I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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