i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
