DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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