I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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