I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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