whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have post one night stand depression
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