Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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