Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
