This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
