girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize