I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
