i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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