Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize