Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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