yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I smell like Dick and happiness
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