i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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