Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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