My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
