Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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