i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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