before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
