Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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