I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
