Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
