You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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