Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
