only if we run a train.
done.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
