my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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