i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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