That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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