So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
