He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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