You just made me feel so damn special
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
