In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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