I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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