Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
