how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
