I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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