Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
