i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
