omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
