big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
