We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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