escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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