YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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