he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
