Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?