so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries