I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful