I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one