I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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