i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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