We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
