i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
