sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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