And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
