I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar