He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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