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glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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