so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
