People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?