Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  We won't sleep together?

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  (212): We won't sleep together? http://tfl.nu/ebgb
  Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (2038)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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  (317): I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex http://tfl.nu/t943
  Replies (4) Good night (2916) Bad night (681)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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  (570): we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up. http://tfl.nu/su5y
  Replies (20) Good night (3924) Bad night (590)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

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  (224): Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal http://tfl.nu/8wqr
  Replies (2) Good night (2403) Bad night (835)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1993) Bad night (712)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.

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  (812): I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ijx1
  Replies (21) Good night (2296) Bad night (1207)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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  (509): Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right? http://tfl.nu/bnll
  Replies (16) Good night (1838) Bad night (788)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with

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  (989): Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with http://tfl.nu/ctqs
  Replies (11) Good night (1574) Bad night (808)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (15) Good night (2280) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think they're German

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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  (513): I think they're German (203): Just say lederhosen and see what happens http://tfl.nu/u5tp
  Replies (8) Good night (1603) Bad night (660)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (950) Bad night (416)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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  (614): Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other http://tfl.nu/gfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter

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  (617): We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter http://tfl.nu/tvcg
  Replies (0) Good night (718) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to

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  (613): I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to http://tfl.nu/enqj
  Replies (4) Good night (380) Bad night (138)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."

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  (405): There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that." http://tfl.nu/ay2e
  Replies (4) Good night (283) Bad night (160)

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