so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Randomize
