She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
