I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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