you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
